1. Hide Your Anger
All of us experience anger. Your spouse treats you unfairly, or they fail to do something that you expected them to do, so you feel angry. However, if your spouse doesn't know when you are angry, then you can easily avoid dealing with it and thus destroy the marriage. Being honest about anger will help you begin to process it in a healthy way ... forcing you to deal with it out in the open ... and that is something you will want to avoid if your desire is to destroy your marriage.
Destructive Hint: If you can't hide your anger completely, just disguise it with a different name like "hurt" or "disappointed" to make it less obvious that you are trying to destroy the marriage.
2. Explode Often
When you are angry with someone it means that, in your mind, they have wronged you. When someone has wronged you, the emotion of anger pushes you to fight back and fighting back almost always makes the situation worse.
One fundamental principle in anger management is to make a covenant with yourself, that you will not attack another person when you are angry. Definitely do not follow this principle if you are trying to destroy your marriage. Verbal and physical explosions are always an effective way in trying to quickly destroy a marriage.
3. Never Ask Clarification
When you are angry, always assume that you have all the information, or that you know exactly what the person meant by what they said. Make sure you do not ask for clarification. If you don't give them an opportunity to explain, or to apologize, then you can jump to all the conclusions you want and believe the worst. So if you want to destroy your marriage, never ask clarifying questions before jumping to judgments when you're angry.
4. Avoid Resolution
If you want to destroy your marriage you must never find a resolution to the situation that stimulated the anger in the first place. All of us say and do things at times that are not loving. These failures stimulate hurt and anger. Anger doesn't simply melt away with time, and hurt does not evaporate. They exist to motivate us to seek understanding and resolution, so if you avoid resolving the root cause of your anger, then you will be well on your way to a destroyed marriage.
Note from Editor: This article is obviously not intended to help destroy marriages, but rather strengthen them by exposing the kinds of behavior that do, in fact, destroy marriages. Our hope is that you will do the opposite of these destructive actions and thereby learn to deal with anger in a positive and effective way.
Adapted from Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way by Gary Chapman.
To find out more, visit http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.
Proverbs 7 NIV
Warning Against the...
Saturday, June 5: Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild
Building Relationships Radio
Proverbs 7 NIV
Warning Against the Adulteress
1 My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.
2 Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
3 Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call understanding your kinsman;
5 they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words.
6 At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice.
7 I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.
8 He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house
9 at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.
10 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11 (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)
13 She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said:
14 "I have fellowship offerings [a] at home; today I fulfilled my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you!
16 I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love!
19 My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon."
21 With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer [b] stepping into a noose [c]
23 till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.
24 Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is a highway to the grave, [d] leading down to the chambers of death.
Featured resource for this program:
Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian.
Tune in to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, the weekly radio broadcast brought to you by Moody Radio and Moody Publishers. Listen live online Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. CST at moodyradio.org,check your local radio station, or download free podcasts and get more information.
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