Fill That Love Tank!
Dr. Gary Chapman
Psychologists have concluded and most of us agree that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. I like to picture that inside all of us is an emotional love tank. If the tank is full, we fare well. But if the tank is empty, life becomes dark.
So, I'm asking you, "On a scale of 0-10 how full is your love tank?" Better yet, why don't you ask that question to your spouse. If their answer is less than 10, you ask: "What could I do to help fill it?" Then, you do it to the best of your ability. If you do this exercise once a week, your spouse will likely begin to ask you the same question and you will learn how to keep each others' love tank full.
If love is so important why is it so elusive?
Through 30 years of counseling I have heard it over and over again, "Our love is gone, our relationship is dead. We used to feel close, but not now. We no longer enjoy being with each other. We don't meet each other's needs."
Could it be that deep inside these hurting couples there is an emotional love tank that is empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank? I think the answer is Yes. If you would like to change the emotional climate, then look for something positive in your spouse and give them a compliment. Your positive statement is the first step toward a growing marriage.
Keeping the love tank full takes refills daily.
I'm convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level in your car. Running your marriage on an empty love tank may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil. How do you fill the love tank of your spouse? You find out what makes them feel loved and then to the best of your ability, you speak their "love language".
There are five love languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Giving Love on Valentine's Day (just 4 weeks away)
The need to feel loved by one's spouse is at the heart of marital desires. A man said to me recently, "What good is the house, the cars, the place at the beach, or any of the rest of it, if your wife doesn't love you?" Do you understand what he was saying? "More than anything, I want to be loved by my wife." Material things are no replacement for emotional love.
However, most of us focus on "getting love" not on "giving love". But Jesus said, it is more blessed to give than to receive. Why not ask your spouse: "What could I do or say that would make me a better husband or wife?" Their answer will tell you how to love them most effectively. Valentine's Day is just four weeks away. Make plans now to express your love in the way that most effectively communicates how deeply you feel. A full love tank makes for a wonderful holiday!
Adapted from the A Love Language Minute broadcast.
A Love Language Minute
View an archive
Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream
Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream
Five Love Language Feed
Tune in to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, the weekly radio broadcast brought to you by Moody Radio and Moody Publishers. Listen live online Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. and evenings at 7:00 p.m. CST at moodyradio.org, check your local radio station, or download free podcasts and get more information.
Most Recent Program Air Date January 15, 2011
Cindy was born in Houston, Tex. She graduated from Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches, Tex., with a Bachelor of Science in Sociology and Social Rehabilitation. Cindy is a nationally known speaker with the Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference. Cindy and her husband Michael, former president of the Moody Bible Institute and teaching pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Nashville, Tenn., have three daughters and one son.
Most Recent Program
Featured: Jonathan and Elaine Daugherty
Jonathan and Elaine Daugherty
January 22, 2011
Sexual addictions are affecting marriages at an alarming rate. On this edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, Jonathan and Elaine Daugherty join us to talk about the toll that took on their marriage and the hope God can give. It’s a story of pain, rejection, sin, and ultimately the grace of God.
2011 Past Programs